Over 100 Facts and jokes about Chuck Norris, the most powerful man ever to have walked the planet.
Random Chuck Norris Facts:
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.
The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the surface of China.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
Chuck Norris doesn't have bad days. Bad days have Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his bo
Top Chuck Norris Facts:
Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris doesnt put socks down his pants, he puts his cock down his socks.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.
Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".
Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near him.
Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.
Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.
The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the surface of China.
Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris to scare the shit out of them.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.
When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Chuck Norris can open beer cans with his teeth. He still prefers to use other people's teeth, though
In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick.
Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
People say the truth hurts, but it hurts a hell of a lot more when it comes from Chuck Norris.
Most Recent Chuck Norris Facts:
Chuck Norris doesnt put socks down his pants, he puts his cock down his socks.
Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.
Chuck Norris can open beer cans with his teeth. He still prefers to use other people's teeth, though
People say the truth hurts, but it hurts a hell of a lot more when it comes from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near him.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.
The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the surface of China.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.
In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".
Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.
Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris to scare the shit out of them.
Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.
Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.
Chuck Norris blocks the toilet even when he pisses.